


Cherry Red

by theblindtorpedo



Category: Tintin - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Bianca, Bisexual Tintin, Character Study, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Fade to Black, Loss of Virginity, Matchmaker Bianca at the end, One Shot, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, they DO IT but like JUST AS FRIENDS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblindtorpedo/pseuds/theblindtorpedo
Summary: Bianca has no romantic feelings for her young friend Tintin. However, she does have a fiercely protective and nurturing streak that makes her bold. So, when she realizes Tintin is secretly distraught over his own sexual experience (or lack thereof), she decides to take matters into her own hands. And into other parts of her.
Relationships: Bianca Castafiore/Tintin, implied Archibald Haddock/Tintin, implied Bianca Castafiore/Cuthbert Calculus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Cherry Red

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes an idea just grips you even if you know it will only appeal to one person (yourself). *sighs*

Bianca considered herself a woman of the world. She had met a great many people and had a great many love affairs. It came with the territory, one could not go globe trotting without encountering the wonders of its citizens in their myriad, enticing forms. She was a connoisseur of romance.

Which is why she was so concerned about the fate of her dear friend Tintin. For it occurred to Bianca that despite his equally wide travails and more experiences than anyone could count in lifetimes, he was a naive young man at heart, and with observation she was more certain of it by the day, in body as well.

Yet, he was pushing on twenty four now and that he showed no interest in women at all, when he should be about marrying age, was peculiar to her. So on one of her stays in Marlinspike, when the Captain was curiously absent (claiming he just had take the car out for repairs although she knew the butler was quite capable) and the darling Professor was occupied with an experiment, so it was tea time and the two were alone she pulled Tintin’s delicate wrist to incite him to sit next to her on the canary yellow sofa.

“Tintin, I hope you will not take offense at this. And i know you won’t because you are a sensible and kind person, but are you a homosexual?”

He gawked at her and she had expected it, but could not stop the unfortunate titter that escaped her mouth at the sight of him, so slack-jawed and starting to sweat about the brow. He did pull the most odd faces. She took his hand and gave it a comforting pat.

“No, no I’m . .. . do I give off the impression?” Oh dear, he was shaking with nerves now, that had not been her intention.

“If you’re worried about my opinion, dear boy, you mustn't. Remember I am a creature of the theater! Why I have homosexuals hanging off me like pearl necklaces and they are just as lovely. If you are worried about everyone else, I wouldn’t say you give off any impression at all. That is why I ask. It just is so strange! Do you have any interests in romance?”

“Maybe,” Tintin twisted his hands in the fabric of his plus fours, “I haven’t thought about it that much.”

“You should, darling. Romance is a wonderful thing. You can trust me to tell you the truth there.”

“I don’t have time for it.” Tintin folded his arms.

“Nonsense! You will have plenty of time for your career in the decades to come. But your youth will fly away from you before you know it.”

His head drooped in despair and she put a soothing arm around his shoulder and pulled him tight against her bosom.

“It already has,” he sighed. “Who will want me like this?”

“What rot you talk. You’re a very handsome young man. Why if I were twenty years younger I’d be throwing myself at your feet.”

“What a ghastly prospect.”

“Tintin, I understand now you are a homosexual, but you need not be so cruel about it.”

“I’m not a homosexual. At least not fully. I like both men and women. I’ve just been too busy to try anything and now it’s too late.”

She peered down at him curiously, catching the blush past the line of his quiffed hair. She understood now, oh her poor, sweet, dear Tintin! At that moment the cogs began to turn in Bianca’s head, a plan forming, radiant in its clarity. She knew the answer to her next query, but must hear it from his mouth first, must make sure Tintin was properly led down this path so he would not start and run for the hills.

“Are you saying you’re nervous about sexual performance? Because you’re a virgin?”

A pregnant beat. Time would tell if it was the moment before a symphony or after a curtain has fallen.

“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear? Did you trap me here to feed off my misery?”

“Not at all. I wanted to see if I could help a friend.” With that she placed a hand on his thigh and carefully swept it upwards, painted fingernails tracing the seam of his pants. A thumb tucked into the edge of the waistband before pressing down to his clothed manhood. Tintin bolted up, but his hands remained on her shoulders. She did not move her own, letting him feel the pressure, all patient encouragement.

“A friend.” He deadpanned. The effort with which he pushed neutrality to the front said more than he wished, for she knew he only did so when he had emotions roiling underneath. Her glorious, innocent boy! So frightened of his own wants that he had never consummated them and now frightened that he had unknowingly convinced an older woman to fall in love with him. She could put those fears to rest.

“Friends are very good teachers,” she said.

Then she kissed him. 

* * *

He collapsed on top of her afterwards, overcome with the exertion, and for all the youth’s initial reticence, as in the rest of his life when the time came for action he did his duty with vigor and enthusiasm. Truly it was an intriguing experience for Bianca, for this was a side of Tintin she had never seen. When he did finally surrender to the age old call of the flesh he made such lovely noises, high and breathy like a woman (and Bianca had many women like Tintin), but wrapped in his unique masculine strength. Delectable.

“Oh dear,” he whispered from the valley of her breasts, “I am terribly sorry.”

“No apologies at all! You were wonderful. But do please get off me. We can’t have the Captain or the Professor come and find us like this.”

“Why? Were you saving to show this in private to the Professor?”

“Cheeky boy!” She playfully slapped his cheek as he raised off, pulled out and grimaced. She flourished a handkerchief and boldly wiped at both of them which made him blush, and isn’t that quaint, after what they’d just done.

Then she sat up, fixed her skirts, and promptly swept him into her arms.

“You’ve had a big day. I’m putting you to bed.”

“It’s only 5pm,” he protested, but did not resist as she ascended the stairs, toed open his bedroom door and deposited him upon the double bed where Snowy was waiting. The loyal dog wagged his tail and crawled closer to press against his master.

“Get some rest before everyone comes back. You’ll want all your strength for dinner. I’ve invited some of my dear friends and I think I’ll also invite some fine young ladies last minute. I collect only beauties with brains so you’ll like them or I hear the Captain is thinking of wearing his new suit.” She winked conspiratorially.

He sighed. “Barely dipped my toes and you’re throwing me into deep water. Tell me am I swimming? Did I do well?”

“Whoever gets to make regular, passionate love with you will be the luckiest person in the world.” She kissed his brow, he smiled gracefully and fell back upon the bed. Light snores filled the room before she had even left.

Well, hopefully that was anxiety exhaustion. She didn’t have the heart to tell him falling asleep right away was not high on the list of attractive traits in partners. Still, he had plenty of time to learn and practice.

Bianca went whistling back to her room. She had some calls to make to Brussels’ most eligible bachelorettes although she had a niggling notion the effort would be pointless. From the entryway came the roaring noises of Captain Haddock newly returned. Even if she saw a clear end the twists and turns of Tintin’s romantic life ought at least to be a good show. With all its odd inhabitants, Bianca adored her visits to Marlinspike. Good old Belgium could always be counted on for a bit of high-spirited fun.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh thank you for reading to the end! if you liked it any kudos or comments would make my day!
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](www.augustinremi.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](www.twitter.com/seccotines).


End file.
